The Innsmouth Immigrant Crimewave the Democrat Party is Hiding from You
The mainstream media tells you the stories aren’t true, but true Patriots know they’re lying. We’ve seen it with Aurora, Colorado, where even the police department is in the pockets of the Democrat Party, saying Venezuelan gangs aren’t the new landlords of every apartment building in town. We’ve seen it with Springfield, Ohio, where the city’s spokesperson—clearly a victim of the Woke Mind Virus—denied reports that Haitian immigrants are eating people’s pets. But, Patriots, every one of us knows someone who knows someone whose cat disappeared in or around or one or two states over from Springfield.
What’s worse, Aurora and Springfield aren’t the only stories of dangerous waves of immigrants the media and their Democrat Party masters are doing everything in their swamp power to keep hidden. Have you heard of Innsmouth, Massachusetts? No? You should. Because what’s going on there is the most horrifying story of all.
Recently, a boatload of mysterious strangers has landed on the shores of this sleepy little fishing village, and they're straight outta a horror movie. These newcomers, hailing from some far-flung Pacific island nobody’s ever heard of, are turning Innsmouth upside down.
Locals are buzzing with tales of bizarre rituals, creepy ceremonies held under the moonlight, and the unsettling fact that these newcomers all bear an uncanny resemblance to one another. It's like they’re all part of some secret club, and true Patriots are definitely not invited.
The once-thriving fishing industry? Gone belly-up. Now, the docks are deserted during the day, but come nightfall, there's a flurry of suspicious activity. Whispers of shady deals and strange cargo being unloaded under the cover of darkness have everyone on edge.
Old-timers like Ezra Marsh, who's seen it all, are sounding the alarm. “The town elders sold us out,” he says. “They promised us prosperity, but all we got was a one-way ticket to the Twilight Zone.”
And it’s not just the adults. These newcomers are breeding like rabbits! Their kids, pale-skinned and wide-eyed, are flooding the schools. Parents are terrified, and who can blame them? These kids are… different. They keep to themselves, they speak in hushed tones, and their eyes seem to follow you wherever you go.
Remember those good old days, with the annual summer festivals and bustling church gatherings? Forget about it. The festivals have been canceled, the church pews are empty. The whole town feels like it’s under a spell, and the only ones thriving are these enigmatic newcomers.
Now, some folks are calling us bigots, but we’re just trying to protect our home! These newcomers are secretive, they have strange dietary habits (seriously, what’s with all the seaweed?), and they seem to avoid sunlight like it’s the plague. Something’s not right, and it's not just paranoia.
Innsmouth is changing, and not for the better. The quaint charm is gone, replaced by an atmosphere of unease and suspicion. Did we make a deal with the devil for a few extra tourist dollars? Only time will tell, but one thing’s for sure: This town will never be the same. The shadow of these newcomers looms large, and we can only wonder what dark secrets they're hiding beneath the waves.
Very scary stuff, indeed. If the mainstream media and the Democrat Party won’t tell America what’s happening in Innsmouth, and why it’s just another reason we need to Build the Wall, it’s up to you, true Patriot, to get the truth out. Call JD Vance. Get on X and tell Ted Cruz. Don’t let the Democrat Party steal another election. We need Donald Trump to fight back against whatever is happening, and it sure is fishy, in Innsmouth—and across America.
Note: For anyone who didn’t pick up on it (hi, Newsmax fans!), this is satire. There are no Deep Ones in Innsmouth, there are no pet eating Haitians in Springfield, and there’s now uptick in Venezuelan gang activity in Aurora (which I live ten minutes from and has many pleasant attractions I encourage you to check out). That said, I do hope JD Vance reads this and warns the MAGA faithful to avoid the shores of Massachusetts.